


10 ways iwaizumi hajime has said i love you

by daisugass



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Graduation, Growing Up, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 09:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4601682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisugass/pseuds/daisugass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I love you's come in actions, not words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 ways iwaizumi hajime has said i love you

_1\. “I’ll wait.”_

Ball after ball, aching muscles and multiple sweat drenched t-shirts, and Oikawa still couldn’t measure up to the other geniuses. He couldn’t do anything like this, he had to burn the movements of his jump serve into his brain, until they were muscle memory, until his body cried for mercy and he collapsed, heaving breaths, so that maybe, maybe he could stand in the same spotlight as those geniuses. He didn’t have the talent but he had the dedication. If he had to work twice as hard, he would, and not waste a minute. This was the key time he had to grow, so he couldn’t wait for talent to bloom, he had to grow it himself. Otherwise, he would never reach the top.

After practice, everyone but Oikawa and Iwaizumi had headed out for the clubroom. He lingered behind in the gym, messing with the balls in the bin before realizing Iwaizumi was waiting for him, too. Sometimes Oikawa wondered why Iwaizumi was always waiting up for him, but he figured he’d just been around Oikawa for so long that it would be weird to not.

“Ah, Iwa-chan, you should go on without me,” Oikawa wandered back onto the court. He didn’t need to stay anymore.

Iwaizumi huffed. “I’ll wait.”

“Huh?” Oikawa turned back to him, not registering his words for a moment before sighing, “No, you really don’t have to--”

“I’ll wait.”

He stared down Oikawa, who was confused but wasn’t going to argue. He didn’t mind the familiar company. He refrained from making any jabs at how Iwaizumi was probably just scared of walking home alone in favor of picking up a volleyball and dribbling it on the silent court; the sound echoed through the large gymnasium, ringing in the metal piping. Iwaizumi sighed and settled down against the wall, looking through his phone and not really paying any mind to Oikawa. Oikawa smiled at him even though he wasn’t looking, because Iwaizumi always seemed to do exactly what Oikawa needed without even asking. He only needed to be present.

He threw the ball up and caught it a few times, watching how it traveled through the air before throwing it up and running up to serve it. He jumped a little too late and the ball hit his wrist instead of his hand, sending it straight into the net. He swore as he hit the ground, then went to retrieve another ball. He wasn’t going to be perfect right off the bat, he’d accepted that already. He just had to keep trying.

He set up him jump serve again, and again, and again, each one missing, out, hitting the net, until he began grasping it, how to time his jump, how high to throw the ball, how his hand felt when he hit the ball right the first time. He was worn out but adrenaline coursed through his veins, knowing he should give it a rest but feeling to much anticipation to stop. He was getting it, he felt like if he only kept working a little more, climbed a little higher, he could reach the top where those geniuses Kageyama and Ushijima stood--

“Oi.” Iwaizumi cut through his world and blinked, regaining his sense of reality. He was drenched in sweat from head to toe, muscles shaking, barely able to hold his own weight up. He heaved every breath, exhaustion quickly overcoming anxiety. “It’s getting late, we should get home now.”

Oikawa let out a shaky laugh, wondering how Iwaizumi could know him better than he knew himself. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

_2\. “It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway.”_

 

They lost. They lost again and Oikawa had never felt more frustrated in all his fifteen years of existence, praying to whatever god was listening to maybe break Ushijima’s leg or something so he could go to nationals, just once. He had wanted it _so bad_ , and nothing felt worse than working hard for something and still not making it. He was angry, he was sad, he was tired at three am but he couldn’t sleep. Did he do something wrong, these last three years, where he’d practiced relentlessly, to the point of injury, to the point where it consumed every daily thought? He must have spent twice as long practicing as everyone else, twice as hard, to the point of exhaustion, nearly to the point of injury. Was fighting for the sport he loved really that futile, did talent really trump hard work? Should he just quit now, before he wasted more of his life dedicated to a sport he was never going to be good enough at?

Oikawa rolled out of his bed, unable to lay there any longer, and opened his window to climb out onto the roof. He didn’t know what else to do. He called Iwaizumi.

“Oikawa, what the hell, it’s like three in the morning,” was the first thing he grumbled when he picked up. But he _had_ picked up, so Oikawa took the small victories.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan, did I wake you?” He sighed and laid down on the roof, staring up at the stars. He could see them in clarity, not a cloud in the sky. The sky was littered with the small flecks of light. He still remembered most of the constellations he had memorized as a child, recounting the times he made Iwaizumi sneak out with him at night so he could point them all out.

There was a huff from the other end of the line. “It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Oikawa let a small smile creep onto his face, imagining Iwaizumi’s silly little pout as he sat up in bed. “Well still, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, dumbass, or I might accidentally start thinking you’re an actually decent person.”

“Rude, Iwa-chan.” But he laughed.

There was a long period of silence shared between them, Oikawa just listening to Iwaizumi’s rhythmic, static-filled breathing. He was almost worried Iwaizumi had fallen asleep again when he said, “We’ll beat them one day. It’s not over yet.”

Oikawa sighed loudly. “Yeah, but it’ll be sort of different, won’t it? We’ll be on a totally different team.”

“But we’ll still be together,” Iwaizumi reassured.

Oikawa hummed in agreement, butterflies collecting in his stomach at Iwaizumi’s sentimental words. It may have seemed silly, because a lot of things could change in three years, especially in high school, but Oikawa couldn’t envision a life where Iwaizumi wasn’t by his side, like he always had been. They were always going to be inseparable.

“The stars are really pretty tonight. Almost as pretty as me.”

“Dumbass, don’t say weird things like that.” And Oikawa knew that if Iwaizumi were there with him, he would most definitely would have needed to avoid a punch. And he knew they were going to be alright.

_3\. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”_

In retrospect, Oikawa probably should have known he was going to be running late today, the first day back from winter vacation and of course he had been too nervous to sleep so he stayed up almost all night watching old volleyball games. Iwaizumi was going to kill him.

He rushed to throw all of his things together in his bag because he had neglected to the night before, ignoring Iwaizumi’s insistent “you won’t have time to in the morning” in favor of cuddling with him a little longer while rewatching Jurassic Park for the 13th time (not that he was counting). He really regretted dumping out his school bag to use for smuggling snacks into disneyworld now.

There was a knock on his front door, signaling Iwaizumi’s arrival, and he was still stuffing his uniform into his bag. He threw on some socks and sneakers and ran down the stairs as the knocking persisted. He threw the door open, out of breath and hair a mess, as the cold air rushed in. Iwaizumi was considerably bundled up in a coat and scarf, and Oikawa could feel the cold biting through his track jacket, but his own coat was all the way upstairs and there wasn’t enough time to grab it. He could tough it out for the morning.

“Iwa-chan, did your mom dress you this morning?” he teased and stepped outside, closing the door quickly behind him, fully submerged in the biting air. “Come on, you’re late!” He sped out ahead of Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi grumbled but just followed him out onto the sidewalk. Oikawa knew it was too early for Iwaizumi to make any jabs back at him.

“What happens if we don’t make it to the clubroom in time? We offered to open it up today, what if our senpai gets there before us, we’ll set such a bad impression, and how will I make captain then?”

Iwaizumi grunted in response. “Isn’t a little too early to think about making captain?”

“It’s seven am, Iwa-chan.”

“I mean, you’re a first year, dumbass,” he explained grumpily. “You wouldn’t be captain for another two years.”

“It’s never too early to think about it! I have to work extra hard since I’m not as good as everyone else.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling the frosty air down to his bones. He shivered.

Iwaizumi smacked him on the back of the head. “Dumbass. You’re better than almost all of the first years.”

Oikawa sighed, seeing his breath come out of his mouth. The cold was starting to become unbearable, seeping through his clothes and chilling his skin. He hoped his shivering wasn’t too noticeable to Iwaizumi, who would probably lecture him relentlessly about how he needed to take better care of himself (even though it was never a hassle to be reminded that Iwaizumi was always looking out for him even when he wasn’t). He zipped his jacket up all the way and ducked his face into it, even though it wouldn’t really save him much.

Iwaizumi stared him down, as if by just looking, he could gather how Oikawa was feeling at that very moment with just a glare. Oikawa smiled at him, knowing it’d piss him off.

“You really are a dumbass,” he grumbled finally, stripping off his coat as throwing it at Oikawa, who was surprised but caught it. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”

“But now you’ll--” Oikawa protested.

Iwaizumi cut him off, gesturing to his scarf. “I’ll be fine. I’m tougher than you anyway, I don’t wanna have to deal with you complaining.”

Oikawa frowned at him, but put on the jacket with a smile. It was still warm, and smelled nice. “You spoil me, Iwa-chan.”

“If it shuts you up.” He didn’t mean it, though, and Oikawa bumped his shoulder in affection, trying to get a smile out of him. He only ducked his face into his scarf, but Oikawa could tell by the crinkle of his eyes that he was.

_4\. “I dreamt about you last night.”_

 

Oikawa was woken up by a knock on his bedroom door, which was unusual on a Sunday, the only day he was allowed to sleep in. He rolled over and sat up, still bleary-eyed and croaked out a “What?”

The door opened with no answer and Oikawa looked to see Iwaizumi standing there glaring at him. “Were you sleeping?”

Oikawa just nodded and flopped back down. Iwaizumi could go away or wait for him to finish sleeping, he was still too tired to hang out.

“It’s like, almost noon, Asskawa,” he tacked on his new favorite nickname for Oikawa and sat down on the bed.

“I don’t care, I’m tired,” Oikawa whined and rolled away from Iwaizumi.

“What time did you go to bed?”

“Like, three am, what do you want?” Oikawa groaned and sat up.

Iwaizumi looked at him a little longer than usual before answering, “I just wanted to see you. I can come back later.” He let out a breath.

Oh. That was surprising behavior for Iwaizumi, and it probably meant that something was bothering him. “No, it’s fine,” Oikawa reached for Iwaizumi without meaning to, grabbing him by the arm even though he hadn’t moved an inch. “You can stay.” He stretched and stood, walking over to his dresser for some sweatpants, because unlike _some people_ he had the decency to put on clothes when he had guests in his house (even though Iwaizumi barely counted at this point). Iwaizumi was silent, switching his gaze between Oikawa and the floor.

“You’re quiet,” Oikawa observed, walking back over to the bed. “What’s wrong?”

Iwaizumi scowled at him. “You’re creepy.”

“Mean! I’m being serious, something is bothering you.” Oikawa sat down next to Iwaizumi, giving him a look of concern. Iwaizumi just cast his glance away. “You have to tell me, you know, I’m not _that_ good at reading your mind.”

“You shouldn’t be able to read my mind at all,” Iwaizumi let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his face. “I’m fine.” Oikawa was about to scold him for lying when he spoke again. “I dreamt about you last night.”

“What?” Oikawa asked in genuine surprise. That was not what he had expected Iwaizumi to say at all. A dream? It was unusual for Iwaizumi to talk about stuff like that.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi’s voice was quieter than when he normally spoke. “I don’t know, it just bothered me, so I wanted to see you.”

Oikawa was totally at a loss. “What happened in the dream?”

“Well, I don’t remember exactly, but, you died. It was just, it was really real and I didn’t like it.” He wouldn’t meet Oikawa’s eyes, but a blush spread across his cheeks.

Oikawa smiled at him, sliding his hand up the smooth skin of Iwaizumi’s forearm to his wrist. He had to admit, Iwaizumi could be really cute, on rare occasions when he was alone with Oikawa (because no one else knew Iwaizumi well enough to ever see him like this-- at least he hoped not). “Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi looked up at him. “I’m right here.”

“Yeah,” he answered breathily, which sent Oikawa’s brain in a spin. Iwaizumi was being too cute, it wasn’t really fair to him. He wanted normal, frowny, buff neanderthal Iwa-chan back so he could stop thinking weird things about how cute the furrow of his brow was, or how warm and soft his skin was and how nice his voice was when he spoke under his breath. None of that happened when Iwaizumi was being normal.

He shook his head and stood in front of Iwaizumi, offering a hand. “Come on, I’ll annoy you so much you’ll say you wish that dream came true.” Iwaizumi glared at him, but took the hand and Oikawa pulled him up.

“That sounds fine.”

_5\. “Stay there, I’m coming to get you.”_

 

“You’ve really gotta take it easy on the late practices, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi lectured again, for like, the tenth time that week. Oikawa lost count a while back. He mostly tuned him out now. “Come on, why don’t we just go home?”

“You’re free to leave anytime, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa answered dismissively. He definitely wasn’t skipping out on late practices, not with his second inter high in just under a month and still not being anywhere close to Ushijima’s level. He had to practice, it was the only way he could win.

“I’m not going to leave you all alone here,” Iwaizumi countered, anger tinting his voice. "You’re the one who kept talking about how rest is important to the first years. Come on.”

Oikawa pursed his lips in a hard line. “I can’t afford to rest right now.”

“Yes, you can. I don’t want to stay here anymore, let’s just go home. We got a lot of homework today.”

Oikawa raised an apprehensive eyebrow to Iwaizumi, scowling. “I’m not your responsibility. Don’t make it seem like I’m forcing you to stay with me.”

“I wasn’t making it seem like that, dumbass, I just-- Let’s just leave, don’t you think you’ve practiced enough?” Iwaizumi reached for Oikawa, but he pulled away roughly.

“I haven’t practiced enough, actually, now could you leave me alone?” He really didn’t have time for Iwaizumi’s lecturing today, he just wanted some peace.

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened at his snap, but his mouth quickly fell into a hard line. “Alright, sorry,” he huffed and slung his bag over his shoulder. “You can have some alone time, I actually have stuff to do.” He didn’t turn to look at Oikawa again as he walked out of the gym, the slam of the door echoing through the big space.

He pouted, picking up a volleyball and dribbling it extra hard to fill the silence of the gym. He didn’t really care that Iwaizumi left him, it wasn’t the first time he’d been alone in the gym, but it gave him an uneasy feeling. And he was upset at himself for snapping at Iwaizumi, because he knew he was only looking out for his well being. Iwaizumi just didn’t understand how desperately he craved victory, didn’t understand his drive to improve no matter what.

The gym was too quiet when he was alone, despite the fact that Iwaizumi didn’t speak when he was there anyway. He shrugged off his thoughts and focused on volleyball. He was here to play volleyball.

One ball. Two balls. He had served until the basket was nearly empty and the floor was littered with balls and droplets of sweat. The sun had long since gone down, but he could stay here all night if he really wanted, and he might’ve. Iwaizumi wasn’t here to stop him tonight. He had heard his phone go off a few serves ago, but he ignored it. He would stop once the basket was empty.

He took a deep breath and let it out forcefully, feeling the way his muscles craved for oxygen. He threw up the ball with practiced aim and began running forward, keeping his eye trained on the ball until he jumped right at the line and--

A ball had managed to roll over to where Oikawa was going to land, and he abandoned the serve in favor of watching as he fell, trying to anticipate the fall but letting out a horrified shriek as his right foot landed on the ball and he fell to the ground, feeling a terrible twist in his knee and he struggled to try and catch himself. He landed on his side, knocking the wind out of him, but the only thing on his mind immediately was that his knee was on fire, it should not be bent like that and oh my god it was already swelling a lot-- he couldn’t believe he really hurt himself over something so stupid--

He couldn’t just lay there, curled up in pain in the empty gymnasium. He panicked, remembering he was all alone and if Iwaizumi had stayed with him, he would have been at his side in a heartbeat. He might be stuck here in pain all night. Panicking, he dragged himself over to his bag and picked up his phone, sobbing as each slight movement sent wracking pain through his knee; it felt worse than any injury he’d ever had before. He called the only number he could think of.

He picked up after a few rings. “What is it?” He still sounded vaguely pissed off, but he _had_ picked up.

Oikawa choked back a sob. “Iwa-chan, are you home yet?”

He could almost hear the breath leave Iwaizumi’s lungs. “No. What happened?” Oikawa was crying really loudly now. “Oikawa, what’s wrong?”

“I-- I fell and-- can you come--” he couldn’t really form a sentence, his knee hurt so bad he felt like he might die or pass out.

“Stay there, I’m coming to get you.” Iwaizumi let out a shaky breath.

Oikawa swallowed and nodded, then realized Iwaizumi couldn’t see him so he managed a “Thank you” before Iwaizumi hung up.

Oikawa laid down and tried to even his breathing, not focusing on the pain or the way his leg was twisted in a way it definitely should not be. His head was pounding and his heart was racing, but he was going to be okay, he wasn’t going to die from a twisted knee even though it really felt that way right now, Iwaizumi would show up and take him home and he could put an ice pack on it and then he’d be fine and playing volleyball again tomorrow because he had to.

Iwaizumi arrived after less than ten minutes, the gym door practically flying open to reveal him standing out of breath. He paused for only a second though before racing over to Oikawa, who sat up and almost cried even more. “Iwa-chan,” he choked out.

Iwaizumi slid down next to him, a hand immediately rising to hold his face and run a thumb across his cheek and wipe away the stream of tears. “Hey, you’ll be fine.” His voice was shaky, almost like he was trying to convince himself, too. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Oikawa took in a shaky breath. “Well, I was serving and-- I landed on a ball and I fell one way and my knee went the other. Basically.”

Iwaizumi nodded, clenching his jaw. “Okay. Can you move it?”

Oikawa shook his head, pinching his eyes shut to hold back more tears. “No. It hurts.”

“I know. Okay, come on, do you think you can stand or should I just pick you up?” It was amazing, Iwaizumi had such a good head on his shoulders. He was so calm, he was handling this better than any other high schooler would.

“I don’t think I can stand.”

Iwaizumi nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll pick you up then. I’m sorry, this might hurt.” He slid his arms under Oikawa as gently as possible, but Oikawa still bit back a whimper when he touched his knee. He wrapped his arms Iwaizumi’s neck, burying his face into his shoulder. “Are you ready?” He just nodded, He didn’t think his knee could ever hurt than before but he was wrong, and Iwaizumi lifted him up off the ground in a princess carry and he couldn’t hold back the yell that crossed his lips as he felt like his knee twisted all over again when he bent it. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Iwaizumi whispered and rested his face into Oikawa’s hair. “Okay, I’m gonna take you to the hospital.”

“What?” Oikawa leaned back to stare down Iwaizumi. “No, I just wanna go home.”

“This is a serious injury, Oikawa. You need to see a doctor.” He met his gaze and held it evenly.

“I just twisted it, I’ll put some ice on it and sleep it off.” His words didn’t sound very convincing though, even to himself. He knew he was lying.

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi averted his eyes and looked at his knee. “I’m not a doctor, but honestly,” his voice lowered in volume, “I think you tore something. I want you to see a doctor or you might never be able to play volleyball again.”

Those words shut him right up. A serious injury was every athlete’s worst nightmare, and Oikawa was no exception. He buried his face in Iwaizumi’s shoulder and mumbled a noncommittal “fine”, and Iwaizumi picked up his bag, jostling Oikawa as little as possible, and they walked in silence, Oikawa’s cheek against Iwaizumi’s chest because he didn’t want to get his tears all over the other’s jacket, even though he’d been doing a pretty bad job of that. He sighed and looked up at Iwaizumi, studying the hard line of his jaw and serious expression that seemed to permanently rest on his face. “You seem really calm, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi looked down at him, expression painted with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify, a face he wasn’t really used to seeing on Iwaizumi. He let out a sigh. “To be honest, it’s because I’ve been preparing for this to happen.” He smiled sadly. “You work yourself too hard. I keep telling you to take it easy, but I know you won’t listen.” He sighed loudly, face troubled as he looked up, hiding his expression from Oikawa.

“Don’t blame yourself for not stopping me.” He hadn’t really done anything to deserve someone so wonderful in his life. All he’d done was make Iwaizumi worry about him.

“I know. It’s just, I just--” he struggled with his words, trailing off suddenly. “I care about you. Please don’t ever hurt yourself again.” He swallowed back tears, a move that surprised Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan…” his voice fell to a whisper. His heart seemed to swell with emotion at the sudden but not surprising realization that Iwaizumi Hajime was probably the single most amazing person on the planet, and he was most definitely the luckiest person alive to have him as a best friend.

He might have fallen in love with him in that single moment, or he may have been slowly falling in love with him from the moment they met, but the feeling was not debatable. He didn’t waste any time in denial, thinking maybe it was something else, the adrenaline or something messing with his head because the emotion read clear as day to him.

He’d probably felt this way a long time, actually.

He sighed loudly and leaned against Iwaizumi, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. Yeah, he might be in love with his best friend, but he would worry about the multiple possible negative outcomes of that later. Right now he was tired and he was going to enjoy this moment before it was gone, before they reached the ER and he had to leave his arms and face the reality of what might be the end of his volleyball career for the rest of the foreseeable future. But none of that mattered right now because he was in love with Iwaizumi Hajime, so he was going to enjoy the feeling of being in love for the first time. Even if he had already been in love his whole life.

_6\. “It looks good on you.”_

The worst thing about having a pretty terrible and massive crush on your best friend is the unbearable guilt you feel for asking them to do pretty normal things with an ulterior motive, because they had no idea you were really doing something because you liked them. It left Oikawa with a strangely satisfied yet terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, but of course, Oikawa wasn’t going to stop just because of that.

So when Oikawa asked Iwaizumi if he would accompany him to his cousin’s wedding (as a friend), Oikawa was a little more than ecstatic when Iwaizumi said okay. Outwardly, he just acted cool, sliding in a comment about how Iwaizumi probably wouldn’t even make a good wingman for good measure, and then Oikawa was left to freak out about it to himself. Because he didn’t really have a friend that he could freak out about this kind of stuff with except Iwaizumi, and he really couldn’t do that in this situation but suffer in silence.

“Is something bothering our captain?” It was Hanamaki who brought up the question after practice one day. “You’re making a face,” he added when Oikawa stared at him blankly.

“He always makes that face whenever Iwaizumi isn’t attached to him at the hip,” Matsukawa answered for him, never far behind Hanamaki for all his teasing about Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

Makki nodded knowingly. “Time for couples counseling?”

“Shut up,” Oikawa threw with no real punch, taking a deep swig of his water.

His friends exchanged glances. “So something really is up. What’s the matter?” Makki asked.

“Nothing,” Oikawa sighed, “I’m just sort of frustrated that I have no one to talk to besides Iwaizumi, really.”

“I suppose that just makes us walking telephone poles or something,” Mattsun said.

“Did Iwaizumi do something? I’m not afraid to punch him in the face,” Makki assured Oikawa. “Ok, well maybe I’m a little afraid.”

Oikawa let out a light laugh. He could probably trust the two of them not to tell Iwaizumi anything, but he was sure if he told them the teasing would be endless, at best. He sighed and sat down next to his bag, waiting for Iwaizumi to get out of the clubroom. “It’s not anything Iwaizumi did, it’s just… It’s a me problem.”

“Oh?” Mattsun pressed, and the pair of them fell on the floor to sit. “Give us all the deets. Why exactly are you having a problem with Iwaizumi?”

Well, there was no point in hiding it. “I like him.”

“You owe me 1000 yen, Matsu,” Hanamaki grinned triumphantly at him.

Oikawa looked affronted. “You guys were making bets on my feelings?”

“No, the deal was on confessing,” Mattsun defended, ignoring Oikawa completely.

“No, I said--”

“Anyways, Oikawa,” Mattsun cut him off, “So what’s the actual issue?”

“What?” Oikawa asked. “That is the problem. I can’t-- and he’s just-- ugh,” he groaned, unsure how to express his feelings.”

“If you like him, tell him,” Makki encouraged.

“You’re just trying to get 1000 yen off me.”

“I can’t just tell him! He’s my best friend, and it would make things weird, and I asked him to go to a wedding with me and he said yes and now I just feel guilty.”

“Why would you feel guilty? He’s your best friend, that’s not weird,” Matsukawa assured.

Oikawa sighed, trying to get the point across to them with big meaningless hand gestures. “I know, but I feel like I’m lying to him every time I see him and it bothers me.”

“So just tell him,” Makki said again.

“I can’t. There’s no way, it would ruin our friendship for, like, all of forever.”

“Do you really think--” but Mattsun cut off halfway when Iwaizumi re-entered the gym and approached them. They all went rigid, looking away.

“Did I… interrupt something?” Iwaizumi asked, hesitant.

“Nope, not at all!” Oikawa answered too quickly, jumping up. “Are you ready to go?” He hummed in a way Oikawa knew meant yes, so he took his place next to Iwaizumi. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, you two,” Hanamaki dismissed in a singsong voice, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Have fun,” Matsukawa said, significantly more laid back but with a hint of suggestiveness that made Hanamaki punch him.

If Iwaizumi had thought something was up before, he definitely thought now, so Oikawa seeked to save the situation by talking in rapid-fire, the way Iwaizumi couldn’t keep up with. “So, Iwa-chan, you have to come over to my house because we need to try on suits and I know you don’t have one so you can borrow one of mine. But I have to try them on first and decide which one I wanna wear, so you don’t wear it. I’ll make sure you look sharp, a lot of my sister’s friends are coming and I have to make sure they don’t think I’m friends with a hobo. Maybe you’ll even meet someone nice!” He tried to keep himself from visibly cringing. “I wouldn’t want my poor Iwa-chan to be lonely forever.”

“Who even cares, idiot?” Iwaizumi grumbled. “Besides, I’ll probably never be lonely, you’re going to bother me till I die of annoyance.”

Oikawa felt his heart flutter a little. It must have shown on his face, because Iwaizumi tacked on, “Dumbass.”

Oikawa still hadn’t pinpointed exactly what it was that drew him to Iwaizumi so much, or even why they were still friends. Most childhood friends didn’t even make it all they way through high school like they had, and Oikawa was trying to figure out what it was that made them last so long. It wasn’t really like they had been forced together by circumstance; they could have gone to separate middle schools, separate high schools. They stuck together because they wanted to, and Oikawa had never really spent a lot of time wondering why that was. Maybe it was the fact that they shared the same goals and dreams, or maybe it was the way Iwaizumi would unveil his softer side only to him. Maybe it was because after being together so long, he couldn’t imagine a life apart from him because he’d never really had one.

It was probably all that and more.

Oikawa’s mother was not surprised when Iwaizumi entered after Oikawa, greeting them both before going back to cooking something that smelled delicious. “Ah, Iwa-chan, just your luck, it’s tofu!”

They both made their way up the stairs to Oikawa’s room and threw their bags down together in a heap by the desk. “Okay. So, I have four suits, and also I could borrow my dad’s but the pants might be too short.”

“Damn, Oikawa, why do you need four suits?”

“Well, two of them are hand me downs and one was for that banquet my family had to go to, and the other was a birthday present from my grandparents. I haven’t gotten to wear it yet, actually,” he beelined for the closet, observing the tan suit. He’d never even tried it on. Would it even look good on him? “I dunno what shirt I’d wear with it though…”

“Just wear a white shirt,” Iwaizumi suggested unhelpfully.

“You have no fashion sense whatsoever, I can’t wear a white shirt with a tan suit unless I wanna look like a sugar daddy or something.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “Well I’m sure any other shirt would look fine, then.”

Oikawa pulled the suit and threw it on the bed, then flipped through his rainbow of dress shirts back and forth. Iwaizumi studied the suit and ran a hand over it. “You’re definitely going to spill something on this.”

“Do you think blue or pink would look better?” he asked, ignoring him. “I think blue.”

“Sure, sure,” Iwaizumi agreed noncommittally. “Are you done now?”

“No, I have to try it on!” Iwaizumi groaned. “But you can pick one of the other three. Actually, try the navy one, I think that would look best.”

Iwaizumi stood to go to the closet as Oikawa stripped, his back to Iwaizumi. He peeled off his t-shirt and pants before pulling on the suit pants. They were tighter than Oikawa thought, clinging to his more muscular thighs almost uncomfortably. “Do I just wear a white shirt with it?”

“Hmm?” Oikawa turned. “Oh, no way, that’ll make you look like a businessman.” Oikawa walked over and flipped through the shirts. “Ooh, actually, wear the pink shirt. That would look great.” He held it up next to Iwaizumi, comparing the color against his tan skin. Oikawa tried not to let his imagination get carried away, thinking about how nice the shirt would look contrasted against  and how much better it would look disheveled as he ripped it off. He shoved the shirt into his arms and scurried away. “Yeah try that on okay.”

He finished dressing himself quickly and whirled around. “How do I look?”

Iwaizumi was busy buttoning his pants, but looked up, then blinked. Oikawa felt a blush crawl up his cheeks as Iwaizumi took his time looking him up and down. “... It looks good on you.” Was he blushing, too?

Oikawa’s heart must have sped up to double time, and it was beating so hard he was sure Iwaizumi would hear it even from across the room. He swallowed hard. “Aww, thanks Iwa-chan, I didn’t know you were able to compliment people,” he practically forced out, almost forgetting how to use words for a second.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

_7\. “Is your seatbelt on?”_

 

“Happy birthday, Iwa-chan!” he practically shouted into the receiver. “How does it feel to be an adult, huh?”

“Shut up, it’s like eight am.”

“But was I the first person to wish you happy birthday?”

“No, Hanamaki texted at midnight on the dot, sorry,” he sighed into the receiver, causing a lot of crackling.

Oikawa rolled over in his bed. “But texting doesn’t really count.”

“Then I guess the only thing that counts is saying it in person, and my mom’s definitely gonna beat you there.”

“Well damn, I tried.” Oikawa stretched, and a high-pitched groan escaped him. “So, what are you going to do today you legal adult? You can go buy a porno, or get your license, or apply for a part-time job at that pawn shop. Well, actually you can’t because the school won’t let you, but, you know.”

“Actually, I was going to try to get my license, since I already know how to drive and everything.”

“Ooh, I hope you pass because I want you to drive me around, that’d be fun! We could just drive anywhere we wanted! Wouldn’t that be cool?” He could imagine it now, him and Iwaizumi driving themselves, taking a private trip to the hot springs, or going on a road trip, confessing under the starlit sky. Iwaizumi would probably hit him for thinking something so lame.

“Dumbass, I don’t even have a car and I can’t get a job yet, so you’ll have to wait a while.”

“Well, at least, call me if you pass and you can borrow your mom’s car or something, just for one day, right?” he pleaded.

“Maybe. Okay, I’m gonna get up and get ready, I’ll call you later, okay?” He heard the sound of Iwaizumi stretching on the other end, and his heart fluttered, just a little.

“Okay~ Tell me all about the test so I can be super prepared when I take it. Bye!”

“Bye.”

Ignoring his feelings for Iwaizumi just took a bit of practice, as did most things with Oikawa. He learned to ignore the moments his heart would race in his chest any time Iwaizumi did something hopelessly adorable, he learned to suppress all of the dirtier thoughts that came to mind when he saw Iwaizumi casually laying in his bed in only drawstring pants, because he did that all the time, and if he started acting weird now, it would drive a wedge into their friendship. So he ignored it all, tried to act like they were still best friends because they were. There was no point in ruining it over a stupid crush.

A stupid crush that had lasted nearly six months by now and was probably never going to go away.

He thought maybe if he confessed, at least he could try to get these feelings out of the way instead of letting them fester. Then at least he could get some resolve and some actual fucking progress instead of just finding new aspects of Iwaizumi that he found irresistible every single day. And, maybe, when (there was no if about it) Iwaizumi rejected him, he could lay the feelings to rest.

He didn’t really want to face that though, so he would keep quiet for now. He liked it better when he could imagine he had a chance.

Oikawa just hung out in his house all morning. He had kept his schedule open for the entire day, because Iwaizumi just so happened to have the good luck of having his birthday on the weekend this year, which Oikawa didn’t think was fair because his was on a Monday (Iwaizumi yelled at him because his birthday was when summer vacation started so he didn’t get to complain). He wrapped Iwaizumi’s present and just waited for him to call. He watched a movie, one of Iwaizumi’s favorites that he didn’t really understand because it was in German and he didn’t have the attention span for reading subtitles.

His phone rang at about two pm and he picked it up immediately. “That took a long time, Iwa-chan.”

“Come outside.”

“What?” Oikawa gasped. “No way, did you actually pass? That’s, like, impossible!” He was already up and out the door, and he was greeted by Iwaizumi parked in front of his house, him in the driver’s seat. He smiled when he saw Oikawa.

He hung up the phone and ran to the car, jumping in the passenger seat. “Holy shit. You actually did it.”

“On the first try.”

Oikawa laughed. “My sister is going to kill you, it took her five tries to get her license. What’s your secret?”

“Well, I’m not an Oikawa, so that’s a bonus,” he joked, hands shifting around on the steering wheel. “I guess I just got really, really lucky.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“You wanna go somewhere?”

Wait, first!” Oikawa stopped him and pulled out Iwaizumi’s present from his pocket. The bow he’d spent so hard tying perfectly had gotten a little messed up in his pocket.

Iwaizumi eyed the box warily. “It’s going to be better than last year’s present, right?”

“Admit it, though, you still use those hangers.”

He grabbed the small box and untied the bow easily. Inside was a little keychain of a volleyball painted their school colors, and a little rubber jersey number one. “Something to look forward to putting on your keys when you get your own car,” he smiled and pulled out his own matching set, with the number four and spun it around on his fingers.

“You’re gross.” He loved it. He put the gift in his pocket.

“Okay, now let’s go somewhere! We could go take that scenic route, or we could go to Sendai, or, well, wherever you wanna go, really.” Iwaizumi started the car and he put his seatbelt on.

“I haven’t really thought about where I wanna go, actually. Probably not anywhere the traffic is gonna be bad.”

“We could take that scenic route. It’s not too far from here, but I’ve never been.”

Iwaizumi nodded in agreement. He looked over at Oikawa. “Is your seatbelt on?” He saw it was, then shifted the car into drive.

It was the little things like the way he smiled at Oikawa like he put the sun in the sky that really made his heart flutter. That made him really think, maybe, he might actually have a chance. It was silly, but a boy could dream, right? And he had always been a dreamer.

_8\. “Don’t worry, We’ll figure it out.”_

They were running out of time.

Of course, Oikawa tried not to think about how their time was ticking down, every moment of every day he spent with Iwaizumi was one less moment he was able to spend with him before the inevitable happened.

They had to graduate one day, someday soon, and every day the seasons changed was just a reminder that Oikawa couldn’t avoid it any longer. He had to talk to Iwaizumi about it-- not necessarily his feelings, but even putting those aside, Iwaizumi was still his best friend and the most important person in his life, so he couldn’t just avoid the subject with him forever. He just didn’t know how to bring it up.

Fortunately for him, the topic came up on it’s own when a university that had scouted Oikawa called him while they were studying for exams. He picked up the phone without checking the ID, so after answering with a casual greeting, he felt awkward when he was met with a professional-sounding voice. “Ah, hello, Oikawa-san. It’s Kanbara from Tokyo University.”

Oikawa sat up immediately, alert expression causing a previously disinterested Iwaizumi to stare at him in curiosity. “Oh, hello, Kanbara-san, are you well?” He had spoken to him previously-- one of many, but he was the volleyball team’s secretary, in charge of athletic scholarships for the team. He’d even visited the campus in the summer when he’d gone to see his aunt in the city.

“I’m doing great, thank you for asking,” he responded politely. “I hope you’re not too busy at this hour?”

“I’m not too busy, why?” Oikawa asked, and Iwaizumi gave him an especially confused look. It was unlike Oikawa to do things without his knowledge.

“I wanted to speak with you about your potential future here at Tokyo.” Oikawa felt the air flee from his lungs. When he didn’t answer, Kanbara continued, “The coaches and staff here have reviewed your playing and character extensively, and have considered you for a scholarship here, if you’d like.”

“Really?” Applying to Tokyo University at first was just a silly dream of his, he hadn’t really thought anything would come of it. They were toally out of his league, he’d told himself. But now, it was entirely in his reach, to go to one of the most renowned universities in Japan, and play on their volleyball team…

“Yes. The full process is much more complicated, so I will mail you the full package, but we’d like to hear back from you within the next few weeks or we’ll fill your spot.”

Iwaizumi rested his head against the table, sighing and waiting for Oikawa to get off the phone. “Thank you so much, Kanbara-san. Really, thank you.”

“The pleasure is mine. I hope to see you soon, Oikawa-kun.”

“Goodbye.” He hung up the phone, but didn’t look up from it.

It felt too surreal, like the entire conversation hadn’t really happened. He couldn’t really comprehend something so life-changing so quickly. He could… he could go to Tokyo University, a school he’d always dreamed about, where he would have a real chance at going pro. That could be him.

He looked up at Iwaizumi, who was waiting for him to talk. He could go to Tokyo and leave this life behind, if he wanted.

“What was that all about?” Iwaizumi gave him an apprehensive look, like he’d done something wrong.

“Why are you looking at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like I did something to offend someone,” Oikawa explained.

Iwaizumi sat up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table and closer to Oikawa. “That’s because you’ve always done something to offend someone.”

Oikawa huffed. “I haven’t,” he grumbled, and then, softer and with less certainty, “Someone from Tokyo University just called.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes went wide. “Tokyo?”

Oikawa swallowed thickly. All of a sudden, he felt like he couldn’t deliver the news and the room was too cold even with the heater on. Because he knew what Iwaizumi was going to say, and he wouldn’t want to hear him say it. “Yeah. They… they offered me a position.”

“Are you serious?” He asked, rhetorically. “You have to go.”

Oikawa still frowned at the words. “I need to think about it. I’ve gotten a lot of offers to a lot of places, you know.”

“Yeah, but Tokyo’s…” Not where you’ll be. “They have, like, the best team in the country! And you could play on it! You know that’s the school you should go to, especially if you want to go pro.”

“Yeah, but…” It was suddenly becoming very hard to maintain his composure. “I’ve never lived in such a big city before. What if I get mugged? What if my apartment burns down? It’s so far away from Miyagi, my parents would be upset. There are a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t go.” He could put together a myriad of reasons why he was too scared to say yes immediately, but only one thing was really holding him back.

“I’m sure you could manage just fine,” Iwaizumi assured. “There are a lot of reasons you should go, too.”

“I won’t have you.” The words came out before he could stop himself.

Iwaizumi blinked, stunned, but his expression softened into something kinder and a little sad. “We couldn’t have stayed together forever, Oikawa.”

Oikawa wanted to be indignant, to argue and say that they could have forever if they wanted it, that he wanted it, but he wasn’t ready to admit that, he didn’t want to emotionally burden Iwaizumi, too. He bit his lip in frustration, furrowing his brow and looking down. “I know,” was the only reply he could muster. Of course, they couldn’t have forever. It was unrealistic, thinking he and Iwaizumi could go to the same university, room together, and live their happily ever after, best friends for the rest of their life. People grew up. They were no exception.

Iwaizumi sighed loudly and laid back against the ground. “I didn’t realize I would affect you decision.”

“Of course you would,” Oikawa argued, but his voice sounded too sad, even to himself. He drew his knees up to his chest. “You’re my best friend. I- I don’t remember a day I haven’t had you there for me.” He was scared of leaving, the comfort of his home, the safety of the countryside. He was scared of a world where he wouldn’t always have Iwaizumi to be there when he needed him. It was suddenly hitting him too fast, that he had to go off on his own in a few months, with nothing to guide him, alone. It was overwhelming, he wasn’t ready for it, he didn’t want to leave and grow up and grow apart--

“Hey.” Iwaizumi sat up and scooted closer to him, reaching out and pushing his chin up to look him in the eyes. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

Oikawa leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. Okay.”

“You don’t have to figure it out right now,” Iwaizumi dropped his hand, dragging down Oikawa’s arm to fall into his hand. Oikawa shivered at the intimate gesture. He watched the tan hand all the way down, loving the way in contrasted the paleness of his own. Iwaizumi’s hands were broad, strong, calloused; a familiar set of hands that have touched him more times than he could remember before. He twined his fingers with Iwaizumi’s without really thinking about it, still watching the way his fingers fell into the spaces perfectly, and he wasn’t sure if time had stopped or if he had just forgotten to breathe.

He heard Iwaizumi take in a shaky breath, and his gaze snapped up, their faces accidentally only inches apart, close enough that he could feel Iwaizumi’s exhale hit his face. He could see every detail of Iwaizumi’s face from here, the scar on the corner of his nose from when he fell out of the tree in his backyard and broke his nose, the slight stubble that lined his jaws because he stayed the night here and hadn’t had the chance to shave today. His lips parted in confusion, and Oikawa studied the way they opened intently, cataloging the exactly shade of pink to memory. He couldn’t read the exact emotion on his face-- it was almost a mix of confusion, wonder, and anticipation.

The air in the room suddenly felt electric, charged with the sudden tension between the two of them. They remained like that, frozen, until Oikawa leaned in, almost whispering, “Iwa--” before he froze again, rethinking. He couldn’t-- he didn’t want to do anything that could ruin their relationship, not when they only had so little time left. He pushed away quickly, untangling their fingers and averting his eyes from Iwaizumi’s confused face. How was he supposed to recover and hide the fact that he had blatantly just tried to kiss Iwaizumi? He looked around uncomfortably, thinking that would give him an answer. It didn’t, and the silence was only getting longer and more awkward with each passing second.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi started just as Oikawa said, “Iwa-chan.” Oikawa panicked. Was he going to ask what just happened, ask why he started acting so weird all of a sudden? Had he totally caught on, did he realize Oikawa had feelings for him? How would he even react to Oikawa having feelings for him? Could he-- was it even possible that he shared the same feelings back? Should he even dare think that?

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi asked, voice quiet, careful not to break the delicate atmosphere that still rested in between them.

“I’m fine!” Oikawa answered loudly, shattering the mood as if he took a sledgehammer to a mirror. “Uhm, sorry. I’m just, really stressed about these exams and picking a school and entrance exams and maybe I let my emotions get the best of me--”

“Oikawa.”

He cut off abruptly, looking at Iwaizumi. He smiled, the way Oikawa loved, with a playful quirk and warmth in his eyes. “You’ll be okay.”

Oikawa felt his heart swell a little, fill with just a little more love for Iwaizumi. Of course, they were going to be okay.

 

_9\. “Can I kiss you?”_

 

Oikawa was a coward. He’d come to that conclusion himself, after realizing he’d rather spend his whole high school career and had spent his whole high school career avoiding his feelings only to come down to the last day he had left to decide to tell Iwaizumi how he really felt. He had to be the worst best friend in the world.

He had only one day left before he left for Tokyo. He knew he couldn’t leave this unsaid.

His room was a mess, boxes that still needed to be sent to his new apartment were piled all over, and things that still needed to be packed littered the floor. Still, most of his things were already gone, and the walls were barren and the shelves cleared. He sighed loudly, assessing what still needed to be done, when a knock on his doorframe turned his attention behind him.

Iwaizumi stood in the doorframe, a smile gracing his lips, and Oikawa couldn’t help but smile back, an equally warm and genuine one at this pleasant surprise. “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you,” Oikawa greeted.

Iwaizumi walked in, already shrugging off his coat and throwing it on the bed. “Liar, you knew I would come.”

Oikawa grinned at him. “Yeah.” He let his eyes linger on Iwaizumi for just a moment longer before turning back to his room. He couldn’t tell him now, right off the bat, and he had things to do still. “I have to finish packing a little, so sorry, we’ll just be hanging out here for a while.”

“I can help,” he shrugged. “What’s still left?”

“Well, mostly anything that isn’t in a box right now needs to be packed,” he noted, assessing the clothes, books, and miscellaneous trinkets that still laid out. “I’ve been trying to be organized about everything, but it looks like everything that’s left is just random stuff that I don’t want to throw out. Leave the clothes alone though, I’ve gotta pack those in my suitcase.” He sighed again. He’d probably do a lot of that today, he thought, and sighed again unconsciously.

It was really happening, wasn’t it.

Iwaizumi hummed, acknowledging his words and picking up a half empty box to get started. Oikawa followed suit, assembling a box of his own to put the things that were left on his desk. It was mostly pens and leftover notes that might come in handy later. He threw in a little volleyball cell phone charm that wouldn’t go on his smartphone now. He packed a vending machine toy Iwaizumi had won for him when he was ten. It was a mini figure of Naruto, his arm had been broken off, but Oikawa had a problem throwing things out, so he put it in anyways.

“Uhm, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi spoke from the closet, “what the hell is this?”

Oikawa turned to see Iwaizumi holding up the oldest, grossest looking stuffed plush of E.T. he’d ever seen in his life-- well, at least since he was nine. He snorted. “I forgot I still had that. My mom got it for me when I was seven, do you remember?”

“I remember it gave me nightmares,” Iwaizumi shuddered. “You were a creepy kid, how were you even into this stuff?”

Oikawa laughed at him. “I remember you refused to stay the night at my house unless I put it in the closet.” He smiled sadly. “I don’t need that, it can stay here.”

“You sure you don’t need some creepy-ass doll to come to life and haunt you in your new place?” he joked, but tossed the old thing back into the closet. “What about this?” He held up an old book, pages falling out and a missing cover, but Oikawa recognized it instantly.

“Oh! Pack that,” he ordered, not explaining.

“What? It’s, like, disintegrating in my hand,” Iwaizumi refuted.

“Yeah, but,” Oikawa walked over and took it from him. “Man, I must’ve read this a million times. I think I have it memorized, honestly. I have to take it.” He flipped through it fondly. “You have no idea how much of my volleyball wisdom comes from this book. Half the stuff I know I learned from here.”

Iwaizumi was looking at him, he could see out of the corner of his eye, and he met his eyes with a smile on his face. “What?” Iwaizumi asked, an accusing look on his face.

“Nothing,” he giggled, grin only growing wider. It was true, he was just happy, and he wasn’t really sure why.

Iwaizumi huffed. “Asshole. What is it?”

“Really, it’s nothing!” Oikawa defended. He thought about it for a second, then added, “I’m just glad you’re here.”

Iwaizumi scowled and turned away. “Dumbass.” He went back to packing more of Oikawa’s useless things.

He could tell him, Oikawa thought. Iwaizumi deserved to know the truth, at least. It was the one thing Oikawa had been keeping secret from him, for years, and Oikawa felt guilty enough hiding anything from Iwaizumi as is. He could tell him now, and then he’d have the whole day to think about it.

But it seemed too early still, they had the whole day together anyways, and why should Oikawa ruin it with a stupid love confession? Things could stay the same, and Iwaizumi would never know and it wouldn’t make a difference to him. He’d never be the wiser.

But that wasn’t really fair to him.

So he would tell him, just not yet.

“Ahh,” Iwaizumi exclaimed some time later, sounding really adorable, in Oikawa’s opinion. They were nearly done packing at this point. “Oikawa, come look at this.”

Oikawa made his way over to the closet, asking “What?” Before seeing the photograph in Iwaizumi’s hand. He couldn’t remember when the photo was taken, but he looked about six, dressed in overalls and a yellow t-shirt. He was standing in his front yard, smiling widely at the camera, both his front teeth missing. It was a little blurry, but it added to the genuine feel of the picture. There was a little dirt smudged on his arms and the rest of his body, and his hair was even wilder than it was currently.

Oikawa almost shrieked and reached for the photo, but Iwaizumi ducked away from his grasp and held Oikawa back. “Hey, chill! It’s just a picture, and look, your teeth.”

“Stop, that’s embarrassing,” Oikawa whined and reached for the photo again.

“I think it’s cute.”

Oikawa swore he could feel his heart stutter in his chest. “Don’t make fun of me, Iwa-chan.”

“What, I’m telling the truth,” he smiled at Oikawa, then looked back at the photo. “It’s a nice picture.” He held the photo up, looking between it and Oikawa, and frowned. “What happened?” he teased.

Oikawa pouted. “I’ll have you know I am still plenty adorable.”

“Yeah, okay,” Iwaizumi answered dismissively. “I’m going to keep this as blackmail for when you piss me off.”

“No!” he shouted, almost tackling Iwaizumi, but he stuffed the photo into his pocket. “You can’t do this to me, please!”

“Okay, what if I told you I just wanted to keep it because I love it?” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, the grin not quite leaving his face.

Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat. Why was Iwaizumi being like this? He was being nicer than usual, and if Oikawa didn’t know better, he’d think Iwaizumi was flirting. Was it just because their time together was so limited, the fear of absence making Iwaizumi more hesitant to say something that might upset Oikawa, and ruin their last moments together? Oikawa didn’t think that was possible even if Iwaizumi drove a knife through Oikawa’s heart. “Okay, but you have to give me a baby picture too. I wouldn’t want to have you forget you were just as much a snot-nosed brat as me.”

“It’s a deal.”

It didn’t take them that much longer to finish packing after that, only a few things left and then double-and triple-checking that he wasn’t forgetting anything before closing up the last box. It didn’t really feel final to him just yet, it hadn’t quite struck him that this was the end. It would, but not yet.

He threw himself down on the bed, sighing loudly. “Ugh, I’ve done so much packing I think I might cry when I have to unpack it all.”

“You wouldn’t have that problem if you didn’t have so much shit,” Iwaizumi grumbled and sat down next to Oikawa. He didn’t look at him, expression distant.

“Hey,” Oikawa nudged him. “What’s that look for?”

Iwaizumi shook his head and looked down at Oikawa. “It’s nothing, just…” He trailed off, raising his head again. “It’s so empty. I’ve never seen it this way before.”

Oikawa pushed himself up, sitting so close to Iwaizumi their shoulders brushed through the fabric of their shirts. “Yeah. It’s really weird.”

They both sat in silence for several moments, leaning against each other, breathing evenly. Oikawa cast his gaze down, playing with a thread that was sticking out of his sheets. He grew up in this room. And now, everything he had collected throughout his life was either stuffed away in the attic or in a box on it’s way to Tokyo. Every poster he had collected and hung up was taken down and rolled up somewhere, the walls were completely bare. It left him with a strange feeling in his chest, as if maybe, if he lingered long enough, his chest would cave in under the crushing force of his emotions.

Oikawa was the one who finally broke the heavy silence. “Let’s take a walk.”

Iwaizumi, wordlessly and as surely as a knight following his king into battle, came with him.

Fortunately, they had both remembered to grab their coats, because winter had not fully given way to a warm spring quite yet, and the cloudy sky provided an exceptionally bitter day today. It looked like rain would be on it’s way in the afternoon.

They walked a familiar path, shoulders bumping because they always stood too close, no set destination in mind, but these streets had been walked on by them frequently enough that they would not get lost. It was nice, just to have Iwaizumi next to him, so he relished in the feeling while it would still last. Because it would end soon.

No. He had left the house to avoid these melancholic thoughts, as unavoidable that he knew they would be. He wanted to forget, at least for a little bit, that this era of his life was drawing to a close in less than twenty four hours. Oh my god, it was that close, wasn’t it? He almost couldn’t believe it.

Iwaizumi spoke first this time. “Why don’t we get something to eat?”

“That sounds good,” Oikawa muttered in listless agreement, probably-- no, most definitely seeming out of it to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi bumped him again, intentionally, their arms brushing together slowly and Oikawa could feel the cold tips of Iwaizumi’s fingers brush against his equally cold palm. It was just the smallest touch, but Oikawa still shivered, and it surely wasn’t from the cold.

Iwaizumi led him to the ramen shop that lay at the halfway point between their home and Aoba Jousai. They had stopped here for dinner countless times before, and Oikawa secretly thanked every god in existence that Iwaizumi knew him so well, knew that he would not want anything new right now. The shop provided blessed warmth, and they took seats at a small table for two tucked into a corner by the window. It was still a little early for ramen, but Oikawa craved something warm so he ordered some anyway, along with a coffee. Iwaizumi just chimed in a non-committal “same as him” and the waitress was on her way.

Their coffee arrived quickly, but Oikawa did not drink it. He was too busy looking around the store, but not really seeing anything at all. He was only reminiscing.

“Oi, shittykawa,” Iwaizumi’s voice pulled him out of his daze. “You need to calm down, it’s not like you’re dying, jeez.”

Oikawa blinked. Then, in an unbelievable move, he laughed, loud and clear, ringing through the shop and causing the few other patrons to turn to the cause of the noise.

Really, it shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore, but it blew him away every time Iwaizumi knew not only how exactly he was feeling and what he was thinking, but also was able to simply, with no considerable thought or effort, speak and set Oikawa right again. Iwaizumi was amazing.

And of course, he was right. Oikawa was wasting so much time being sad about leaving this place he’d forgotten that there was no way he would say goodbye forever-- he may be moving away, stretching his limbs, but he still had roots that tied him here; his family, and friends, and Iwaizumi would all still be in Miyagi. He would return here again, and maybe he wouldn’t live here anymore, but it wasn’t the end. He had Iwaizumi to remind him of that.

Iwaizumi stared at him, used to Oikawa’s antics by now, so his scowl melted into something that more closely resembled a smile. “You’re being loud,” he mumbled, but Oikawa ignored him.

“You’re right, as usual,” Oikawa said, laughter still in his voice.

“That’s just because you’re an idiot who would would lose his own head if I wasn’t there to put in back on your shoulders.”

Oikawa smiled at the analogy, because it was true. He took a sip of his coffee to hide the growing flush of his cheeks. “I trust you’re paying, since you brought me here?”

“What?” Irritation crawled back into his voice. “I paid last time we were here, you owe me.”

“But I paid for the meat buns at the convenience store.”

“You made me buy you tons of milk bread just yesterday,” then groaned, “There’s no point in arguing about this.”

Oikawa smiled at him again. “I forgot my wallet, anyway.”

“I hate you.”

“Call it a goodbye treat,” Oikawa mumbled, stirring his coffee to keep his eyes off Iwaizumi, but he could feel them staring into him. He didn’t want to know what kind of expression Iwaizumi had on.

“You bastard, you won’t be able to pay me back.”

Oikawa felt his sadness wash away from him suddenly, his bad mood erased completely because Iwaizumi could handle him in a way no one else could, could unwind him until he was just a giggling, giddy heap bundled into a sweater. He giggled like an idiot all the way until their ramen came.

“You’re in a better mood than I thought,” Iwaizumi observed.

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “Oh? I thought you said you couldn’t read my mind.”

“It’s just, I thought that you’d be harder to drag out of your sour moods and you’d be all depressed. But you seem fine.” Oikawa wanted to tell him that he was sad, but he was also happy that he had decided to be here for Oikawa and take Oikawa out to ramen just to cheer him up.

But he didn’t say any of that. Not yet.

“You know, I’m sort of excited to meet my roommate,” Oikawa chatted, changing subjects. “He’s on the volleyball team too; apparently he was in the top five spikers in the country.”

Iwaizumi hummed in amusement. “That sounds fun. Have you met him?”

“No, but according to rumors he’s pretty wild,” he sighed; he’d lost count of how often that had happened today. “I guess I might be the one who sets to him from now on.”

“You’re excited, though.” He said it disbelievingly.

“Yeah,” Oikawa assured, “but… I don’t know, I’m kinda scared. What if I’m not as good as them? What if their so out of my league that I get kicked off the team? What if I can’t get along with any of them? What if--”

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi cut him off. “Shut up.”

Oikawa pouted into his ramen. “... I wish you could be there.”

He peeked up to read Iwaizumi’s expression and found him staring right at Oikawa, surprised. His cheeks were flushed. Oikawa blamed it on the cold.

Iwaizumi decided that he wasn’t going to continue playing volleyball at his university, a decision that Oikawa had nagged him about, but ultimately let him make. Iwaizumi didn’t really tell him his reasons, but Oikawa figured it was something like nostalgia, that playing something that should stay in his school era, in their hometown, with Oikawa. He might join a recreational volleyball club to stay in shape, but all in all, his volleyball career was over. It was something that had troubled him for a long time, Oikawa knew, but Iwaizumi had ultimately decided that focusing on his classes was something he needed to put first. Oikawa was sure to express his grievances that he would never get to play against Iwaizumi in an official match, but Iwaizumi just shut him up by saying their colleges weren’t even in the same division so they’d never play anyway.

“Idiot,” he finally huffed, turning his head away.

“You know you’ll miss me.”

“... Yeah.”

They finished up their ramen and Iwaizumi graciously paid for both of them (Oikawa thanked him teasingly, something he got punched in the arm for), and then both of them embarked on a journey to Oikawa wasn’t sure where, but he followed alongside Iwaizumi, who seemed to be taking him somewhere. It was late midday by now, and it warmed up a little and the sun had come out of hiding. They passed through the busiest part of town, and Oikawa instinctively clutched Iwaizumi’s hand so he wouldn’t lose him. Iwaizumi only held him tighter.

They were in a park. Oikawa recognized this park, the jungle gym he’d run and climbed all over, fell off. The cherry blossom tree was even bigger than when he’d last remembered it, the blossoms just beginning to bloom. He wondered if he could still climb up it like he used to. Near the back, the sandbox where Oikawa had been peacefully playing when a cicada decided to assault him, and Iwaizumi, as brave then as he was now, dutifully rescued him with the skill of a seasoned bug-catcher. He’d been his knight in shining armor ever since.

He knew Iwaizumi remembered, too. “Jeez, Iwa-chan, I thought you were trying to cheer me up.”

Iwaizumi sighed, stepping closer to Oikawa, close enough that their arms pressed together. “I don’t know. I just wanted to come here.” He kicked at the dirt.

Oikawa turned his head to study Iwaizumi’s expression. He’d spent so much time worrying about leaving and moving and how homesick he was going to be and how much he would miss Iwaizumi, that it never occurred to him Iwaizumi was probably going to miss him just as much. His feelings might not be on the same caliber as Oikawa’s, but Oikawa was still his best friend and one of the most important people in his life, so of course he was going to miss Oikawa. For the first time in both of their lives, they were going to have to leave home, be separated from each other, and learn how to function as independent people. Iwaizumi was probably just as scared as he was.

“Hey,” Oikawa said, softly enough and in a different enough tone that it got Iwaizumi’s attention. “You said so yourself, we aren’t leaving for good.”

“You’re right,” he said. “Well, I’m right, technically, so you’re not right at all.”

“Hey, give me some credit, I’m learning from your wisdom.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and walked forward, eyeing the tree. “Do you think I can still climb this thing?”

Oikawa walked over to him, shrugging. Iwaizumi was probably strong enough to climb a tree, but the coordination to climb a tree depended on whether or not Iwaizumi spent a lot of time climbing trees, which was unlikely since Oikawa spent practically every waking moment with Iwaizumi, and they never climbed trees together anymore.

Iwaizumi tentatively pulled on one of the lower branches, trying to pull himself up, and the branch creaked ominously. “Iwa-chan’s too fat to climb a tree, he’s gonna rip off a branch with his barbarian strength,” Oikawa teased, watching as he climbed up one branch, then the next.

“That doesn’t even make sense, idiot. Shut up, I’ll punch you.”

Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi tested each branch, climbing higher. He had a nice view of him from here, and he could stare unabashedly because Iwaizumi was busy focusing on the tree. “You can’t punch me when I’m down here, stupid.”

“Get up here.”

“What? No, you’ll just push me down!” Oikawa took a step back, just to get a better look at Iwaizumi who was far above him now. “Remember, last time I climbed this tree, you pushed me out and I had to go to the hospital because I broke my tailbone.”

“You fell out of the tree yourself, dumbass,” Iwaizumi reminded. “And you didn’t break your tailbone, just bruised it badly.”

“It still hurt.”

“Ha, you broke your butt.”

“I hate you so much,” Oikawa grumbled, no real malice behind the words. “You insult my pain.”

Iwaizumi stopped climbing, resting in the nook where three branches met. “Just come up here already.”

Oikawa eyed the tree. Well, If Iwaizumi could do it, he was sure he could, too. He used the same path Iwaizumi took, only slipping occasionally and not even screaming at all, which he was proud of. He settled himself in a branch slightly lower than Iwaizumi and smiled.

“No, I don’t like this.”

Oikawa, surprised, asked reflexively, “What?”

“You’re shorter than me, I don’t like it.” He frowned down at Oikawa.

Oikawa grinned smugly. “What, Iwa-chan, I thought you wanted to be taller.”

“No, I like it too much, that’s why I don’t like it.”

“That makes no sense.” Oikawa laughed at him, and Iwaizumi punched him in the arm, but he made sure to do it gently enough that he didn’t accidentally knock Oikawa out of the tree. “What, you like it when I’m shorter than you?” He leaned up closer to Iwaizumi, making a definite point to look up at him submissively, teasing.

Iwaizumi leaned so far away from him that he nearly fell out of the tree and both of them screamed and Oikawa reached to right him. Iwaizumi was blushing furiously, and he reached to shove Oikawa but Oikawa dodged easily, laughing. “Maybe the tree is a bad idea.”

“I think it was a great idea, you just ruined it.”

“You were the one who wanted to me to come up here, you know, so really it’s you who ruined it.”

Iwaizumi scowled, but did not argue back. He looked off around the playground, having to squint because the sun was dropping straight into their line of sight. Oikawa kept his eyes on Iwaizumi. He seemed to always be looking at Iwaizumi, always trained on him, and he couldn’t believe a day would come and he would look to his side and Iwaizumi wouldn’t be there. Even though that day was tomorrow.

He could tell him, now. In fact, he should tell him now, the atmosphere was right and he couldn’t really imagine a situation where confessing would go badly (aside from Iwaizumi nearly falling out of the tree again), but something kept holding him back. He wasn’t sure if it was cowardice or fear of rejection. Probably both.

So instead, they both sat in the tree in silence, watching as the little kids played on the playground, together but alone with their thoughts, until one of the workers yelled at them to come down. By that time, it was early evening, and Oikawa suggested they should probably head back for dinner. Iwaizumi hummed in agreement, and they walked to Oikawa’s home in silence.

Iwaizumi planned to say goodbye to Oikawa at his house and continue to his own, but Oikawa’s mother trapped him, and oh Hajime-kun you should come in for dinner, I made enough for you too, and have you really been walking around all day in that thing, it’s so cold, I already talked to your parents and they said it was fine, and Oikawa was grinning cheerily in the background, already making his way to the table to steal a bite before everyone came in to sit, but Oikawa’s sister came in to cut him off and steal the food from him herself, teasing about how Oikawa left their family all alone on their last day together so he could hang out with his boyfriend. Then his dad came in and asked him where he’d been, and he sat at the table first, the siblings following suit and his mom and a disgruntled-looking Iwaizumi following soon after.

Table talk seemed mostly to revolve around Iwaizumi and his plans after he left, since most everybody already knew about Oikawa. Iwaizumi was happy to answer all of their questions. He was leaving to for his own school in a few days. Yes, he had already packed most of his things. It was only an hour train ride away. Yes, he had met his roommate already and no, he had not talked to any girls. No, he was not going to be on their volleyball team. He hadn’t decided on a major yet, but he was taking a lot of science and health classes, so he might think about becoming a doctor or nurse. Oikawa giggled at the thought of Iwaizumi becoming a nurse, and Iwaizumi kicked him under the table so none of his family would notice. His sister did.

The conversation shifted its attention on Oikawa. Tooru, have you packed everything yet? Is your suitcase ready? Make sure you don’t forget anything. Your train leaves and nine, so be sure you get to bed early tonight. Don’t stay up all night watching volleyball games or something like that. Set your alarm. Oh, Tooru, the movers called, they said your stuff should be at your apartment by two pm. I packed you snacks for the train ride.

After dinner, they both helped clean up and then retired to Oikawa’s room; Iwaizumi turned on the tv and laid down in Oikawa’s futon like it was his own as Oikawa put together his suitcase.

“What time are you leaving for the train station tomorrow?” Iwaizumi asked, scrolling through the TV guide.

“I dunno, probably around eight thirty, just to make sure I don’t miss it.”

“Should I come see you off at the station?”

Oikawa smiled at his clothes. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Oikawa hurried up finishing his packing and zipped up his suitcase. It didn’t feel final, not yet, the sun was still in the sky and he still had a few more hours before Iwaizumi would need to leave and then, once he was alone, he could let the sadness hit him full force.

His eyes wandered to Iwaizumi, who was absent-mindedly watching the TV, looking lost in thought himself. He looked relaxed, back resting on the wall and one leg drawn up, an arm slung around it. His posture was open, and Oikawa couldn’t help but think he would fit into the curve of Iwaizumi’s body perfectly, right there. He should tell him. He really should, but Oikawa found himself trapped in silence. This is what he got for waiting until the last possible minute, he was going to wimp out and then he would leave for Tokyo and Iwaizumi would never know the truth, and Oikawa would never get to know what Iwaizumi would have thought, if maybe Oikawa wasn’t alone in his feelings and-- and if they could have--

Iwaizumi turned his head his way and caught Oikawa staring, and raised an eyebrow. Oikawa realized his face read of emotion like an open book, so he quickly screwed his face up into something that resembled a smile, which only turned Iwaizumi’s lips downward even more.

Oh, hey, Iwa-chan, I’m leaving in less than 12 hours but I just thought you should know that I’ve been in love with you my whole life and I’ve been keeping it a secret from you until now. Please don’t hate me.

Yeah, there was no way he could say something like that.

Oikawa shoved his suitcase aside and fell onto the futon next to Iwaizumi ungraciously. Iwaizumi’s eyes never left him, and he knew Iwaizumi knew something was up with him but if he asked he’d just blame it on nostalgia or something reasonable like that. He rolled over onto his back and leaned against the wall, positioning himself lower than Iwaizumi to avoid his direct line of sight.

Iwaizumi looked down at him anyway. “Are you doing that on purpose?”

Oikawa felt a flash of panic run through him. “Doing what?”

“Making yourself shorter.”

Oikawa laughed at him, the adrenaline leaving his veins. “I wanna make Iwa-chan feel a little better about himself, because I care about your state of mind.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

He grinned. “Maybe.”

They both settled down comfortably, Oikawa’s head resting on Iwaizumi’s shoulder to watch Jurassic Park for the 14th time (Oikawa was definitely not counting), but Oikawa wasn’t really watching, spacing out to think about the soft fabric of Iwaizumi’s shirt, and the heat of his body radiating through it on Oikawa’s cheek, or how his hand managed to settle itself in the bend of Oikawa’s waist, resting gently but to Oikawa it felt like the weight of the world, incredibly aware of how close their bodies were and how he could feel Iwaizumi’s breath causing his hair to flutter. Honestly, it wasn’t even that unusual for them, just beyond the norm of their casual touches, but when all Oikawa could think about was how he still hadn’t told Iwaizumi how he felt, every touch killed him just a little, reminded him that it still needed to be done. He still wasn’t being honest with Iwaizumi, right down to their last minutes.

The sun had dipped well below the horizon when the movie ended, and Iwaizumi shifted, pushing himself into a sitting position. “I should probably let you sleep.”

Oikawa found himself robbed of words. He’d run out of time. He only had one more chance.

Iwaizumi stood, watching Oikawa carefully, who couldn’t look back. If he looked back, he wasn’t sure what he would do. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He patted him on the head, ruffling his hair out of place, then headed for the door.

“Wait, Iwa-ch--” he surged forward, then shrunk back, cutting himself off, a coward to the last minute.

Iwaizumi turned around, giving him a level, unreadable expression. “What is it?”

Oikawa shook his head, swallowing hard. “It’s-- it’s nothing. Nevermind.”

“It’s not nothing, something’s been bothering you all day. What is it?” He took a step closer to Oikawa.

_I can’t tell him, not even now._

He took another step.

_Iwa-chan--_

He dropped to his knees, leaning over Oikawa and resting his hands on Oikawa’s drawn up knees.

_I’ve been in love with you for my whole life._ His voice had gone seemingly absent, and so he kept his eyes down, aware of Iwaizumi’s gaze on him but not meeting it. He could hear him breathing, low and even. 

“Oikawa,” his voice was low and quiet, and unbelievably close, “can I kiss you?”

Oikawa’s heart must have stopped beating right there. Had that-- Did he-- Oikawa wanted to be sure he hadn’t misheard, but one look at Iwaizumi’s face confirmed the words, his flushed face visible even in the dim light of the TV, pupils blown wide.

Oikawa, disbelievingly, stayed frozen, but Iwaizumi must have read something he let show in his body language and closed the very small distance between them very easily, their lips pressing together in the softest of touches. Oikawa drew in a sharp breath through his nose, his eyes widening and focusing on Iwaizumi’s own closed eyes, but it hurt his head to look at anything so close so he closed his own eyes, his lashes fluttering against Iwaizumi’s cheeks. He drew away, but Oikawa chased after him, seeking to lengthen the kiss, pressing harder against Iwaizumi’s lips and drawing a hand to the back of his neck. He hoped Iwaizumi couldn’t hear the pounding of his heart as clearly as he could, beating fast as if he had just ran a marathon and won first place. He shifted forward, seeking a better angle, and Iwaizumi’s hand was back on his waist, drawing him closer. His other hand moved around aimlessly for a few moments before finally settling on Oikawa’s face, cupping his jaw. Their lips slid together gracefully, and Oikawa couldn’t help but think that even this they did perfectly in sync.

Iwaizumi was the first to pull away, but only barely, his shaky breath hitting Oikawa’s face. He fell forward and pressed their foreheads together. His shoulders were shaking, and Oikawa realized he was laughing. Oikawa let a grin take over his own lips, until he was laughing with Iwaizumi too, and he couldn’t stop-- the laughter was infectious, full of giddy glee from what just happened and the sheer ridiculousness of it all. What, exactly, had Oikawa been so nervous about? This was Iwaizumi, his Iwaizumi, who was his best friend, who lost his pants on a school field trip in middle school, who was always on the same page as Oikawa even when they were miles apart. There were no possible bad reactions to Oikawa telling him anything.

Once they had finally stopped their giggle fit, Iwaizumi faced Oikawa with one of the happiest faces he’d ever seen. “We’re idiots.”

“Yeah,” Oikawa agreed breathlessly, leaning against the wall. A pause, then, “Can we do that again?”

Iwaizumi answered by meeting their lips together again, not quite hitting the mark and getting the corner of his mouth, but neither of them really cared and shifted their lips back into position, pressing them together with a little more urgency, and much more certainty than before. Their lips glided together and Oikawa thought his heart might actually break his ribs from beating so hard. Their position forced Oikawa to lean back into the wall, making him shorter than Iwaizumi, and he smirked as Iwaizumi kissed him again and again. Oikawa caught Iwaizumi’s lower lip between his own and pulled at it, causing him to gasp, and Oikawa began devising a plan to find and push all of Iwaizumi’s buttons. He craned his neck and arched his back up closer and one of Iwaizumi’s arms caught him and held the small of his back, the other holding up his weight because at this point he was practically on top of Oikawa, who was sliding down the wall to the futon. Oikawa threw a hand out to push himself back up, and Iwaizumi followed him, their lips never breaking except to take in gasps of air. Oikawa tentatively poked out a tongue that was lost in Iwaizumi’s mouth the moment he did it, eager to be even closer to Oikawa than he already could be with his body pressed between him and the wall. Oikawa relaxed entirely against Iwaizumi, who was really taking charge, rising up and kissing Oikawa from above. It actually surprised Oikawa, how actually naturally skilled Iwaizumi was at this, and he briefly wondered if Iwaizumi had seen anybody else like this before his hands slid down Oikawa’s side to the strip of exposed skin when his shirt and risen up from the action and he could only focus on the tickling sensation of the delicate hands and oh my god they were getting really carried away here--

Oikawa let his hands rise up Iwaizumi’s arm across to his chest, then pressed his hand back in a subtle motion that showed he needed him to back off a little bit. They broke the kiss.

“Iwa-chan.” Suddenly the nickname seemed ill-fitting.

He was still trying to catch his breath. “Yes?”

God, it should be illegal to sound so hot and breathless. “I-- I mean, we-- we can’t get too carried away. Not tonight.”

Iwaizumi nodded, because even though they both clearly could go on for hours, it was too fast and too late for them.

They fell apart, but didn’t move far from each other, legs still tangled together. They both knew they had run out of time, but neither of them were ready to admit it just yet. The air felt too thick between them, with what they had done and what was coming.

Oikawa surged forward and hugged Iwaizumi so forcefully they both fell to the ground with a soft thud on the futon. Oikawa rested his head on Iwaizumi’s chest, a hand seeking the other’s and they met, twining their fingers together. “Ugh, you’re heavy, shittykawa.”

Oikawa rolled off but kept their hands together between them. “You should just stay,” he whispered, letting every ounce of emotion he had ever felt for Iwaizumi spill into those four words.

“Okay.”

And they drifted off to sleep, together.

.

.

_If time is money, then I’ll spend it all for you._

.

.

 

_10\. “I love you.”_

 

“Okay, are you sure you didn’t forget anything? You have enough money in case you did, right?”

“Yes, mom, oh my god, I’ll be fine,” Oikawa stood separated from the party that accompanied him for his departure, which consisted of his family, Iwaizumi, and Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who surprisingly strolled in as if by coincidence or something.

“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving home, it seems like just yesterday you were blowing out the candles on your fifth birthday,” his mother spoke, tears as much in her eyes as her voice.

“Yeah, it seems like just yesterday I was shoving your face in that cake,” Iwaizumi added, fake sentiment in his words.

“Have fun in Tokyo, Tooru, but don’t forget why you’re there,” his father reminded. “We won’t be able to come to all your games, but we’ll be here watching.”

“Be sure you come and play me.” Hanamaki was actually going to a school to play volleyball, unsurprisingly.

“I’ll kick you ass,” he promised. “Butt!” he added in a panic.

“Okay, there’s ten minutes until the train leaves, you should probably get going,” his mom wiped away a tear. “Oh, come here.”

Something about seeing his mom in tears made the whole situation suddenly very real, and he embraced her tightly, finding he was holding back tears of his own. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Don’t forget to call us sometimes. I know how you can get caught up in your own little world,” she sniffled.

He let go of her and went in for a hug with his dad and sister, who told him to take lots of pictures and post them on facebook so she could find him when she found herself in the city. He promised his dad he would make it to the finals this year for sure.

He was bear hugged by Matsukawa, and Hanamaki joined them. “You better not forget about us or I’ll get Iwaizumi to punch you for me,” Hanamaki threatened in the friendliest way possible.

“Of course not,” Oikawa promised, and then fist bumped them both. He would really miss them.

He paused in front of Iwaizumi, unsure of how to appropriately approach him with everyone watching. He finally settled on just hugging him, wrapping his arms tightly around him and burying his face into his neck. He breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent for what would be the last time in a long time. He felt Iwaizumi’s hand card through his hair.

“I’ll see you again.”

Oikawa nodded against him. “It’ll be sooner than you think.” He could barely contain his tears anymore. He didn’t want to let go, he wasn’t sure he could do this. He wasn’t the kind of person that was cut out for leaving home after all.

“I’ll be waiting for you to do amazing things,” he pulled back out of the hug, but didn’t move far from.

He let out a sob and nodded, his words stolen from him. He was leaving, this was really happening. He wasn’t going to see any of them again for months. He hugged Iwaizumi again, getting his tears all over his sweatshirt.

“I love you.”

Oikawa answered by crying harder.

“You better get a move on, son,” his father said as soon as Oikawa pulled away from Iwaizumi completely.

He wiped his eyes with his jacket sleeve. “I’m gonna miss you all so much.”

“Don’t worry, we still have you in our hearts. And our closets,” Hanamaki reminded.

Oikawa let out a shaky laugh. “Goodbye, guys. I’ll talk to you all soon.”

He took a deep breath, and headed for the train. He was really leaving. If he was really leaving, he wanted to leave knowing he did everything he could have to make his life in Miyagi the best it could have possibly been. He didn’t want to regret anything.

He turned around on his heel and ran back, slamming straight into a startled Iwaizumi, but he caught him in his arms and spun Oikawa around before kissing him, hard, trying to squeeze every moment they were going to miss into one kiss. Maybe it was reckless, maybe he was going to miss his train and maybe people were staring but Oikawa didn’t care at all because this was the last moment he was going to share with Iwaizumi and he was going to enjoy it. Iwaizumi’s hands were clutching at his jacket, and their teeth clacked together a little.

Oikawa pulled away, gasping and sobbing and shaking and crying all at once. “I love you too.”

Iwaizumi nodded. “Go catch your train, idiot.” He was crying too, though.

Oikawa swallowed hard. “Please don’t forget about me.”

“Never,” he promised, and Oikawa believed him.

He walked away again, holding onto Iwaizumi’s hand until he couldn’t reach anymore, watching it drop back to his side. He was aware of his mom and dad, who watched the scene with wide eyes, Oikawa’s sister with a smug smirk. Matsukawa was gaping and Hanamaki was grinning about the fact that he was going to be 1000 yen richer really soon. Well, at least he wasn’t the one who would have to deal with all the questions, he thought with one final wave to them all. Iwaizumi could manage all that just fine, though.

He boarded the train. He wasn’t ready to leave, but he knew he didn’t really have a choice in the matter anymore. He wasn’t about to fight the future, but he could face it a little easier knowing what lay behind him would always be there to support him.

He felt invincible.

**Author's Note:**

> so this originally started as one drabble from a prompt of tumblr that turned into two, which turned into ten so here we are aha
> 
> i hope this is a sufficiently good enough fic for my first post i almost didn't post out of shame lmao
> 
> come say hi on tumblr at hipster-iwaizumi c:


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